We Visit the Musuem to be Weighed

I have changed my mind – we’ll take the two outings any day. Last night E slept like a dream. He woke up 4 hourly, ate and promptly went back to sleep. It now seems however that he is mightily unsettled first thing in the morning, between about 6 and 7am.

Today we ventured out for our first visit to the clinic. I was so organised to get there on time and thankfully it only took me about 15 minutes to work out how to open the pram. Mmmm I’m not a natural quite yet. The clinic was a bit revolting, the scales are so antiquated that I thought that they were museum pieces – even the greengrocer has more up to date and sophisticated weighing equipment. E weighed 2.1kg on their scale, however there is no real definition on the scale so he could be anything between 2.0 and 2.2 – I prefer the hospital scales. They measured his length on this piece of old wood and literally demanded that E lie straight – yeah right. Anyway he measured 44.5cm in length. The nurse told me that E is very strong and there is no problem with his muscle tone (from fighting off doctors his whole life is my reckoning). She also said that he is very alert. This after she tried to straighten his poor body up against a piece of wood - wouldn't you be alert?

The afternoon was rather boring really, he was so well behaved. Not that this is a bad thing mind you. We went for a drive to fetch the house key’s for grandpa’s flat and E loved the car seat for today and was as good as gold in it. He fell asleep and I decided that it would be clever to take him out of it once we were home because it is bad for his back to be in it for too long. Who am I kidding? What kind of crack am I smoking? Half an hour is not too long and I will not take a sleeping baby out of a capsule in a hurry again. EVER AGAIN!!!! He screamed and screamed and screamed.

We decided that E is definitely starting to smile. He is looking so beautiful and so calm and gorgeous, except when his bottom lip curls and he screams blue murder.

The Car Journey from Hell

What a busy day!! E had a good night, in fact at 2am he spent some real wonderful awake time after his feed but was settled and calm, but he was not a happy camper this morning. He woke up and fed at about 6am (after settling well at 4am) but he was rather unhappy about the prospect of going back to sleep and became quite hysterical. In the face of his rather obvious distress we decided on the warm bath option. A good one considering that I had a sore tummy and could have done with the comfort of the warm water. As always the bath did its trick and he was settled and warm after his bath. He slept soundly and was happy and content for his 9am feed. After his “breakfast” I bundled him into the pram and we went for our first solo walk to the shops. He slept well again and the next thing he knew we were bundling him up in preparation for his first long journey in the car to visit his mate Mattie.

Mattie was born five weeks prior to E and also did some time in the NCC. He and E became first and firm friends. Today is Mattie’s due date and his parents were throwing a “0” birthday party. We expected that E would love the long trip to Narrabeen but boy were we wrong. He hated the car seat and I ended up having to sit in the back with him to settle him. I am sure that the car seat is too uncomfortable for him – he is really to small to try and sit up in that position.

E was the star child at the party. He slept in his pram amidst all the noise and the chaos and seemed very content. He woke for his feed right on time and ate really well. He settled soon after and went back to his pram. He woke up just in time for me not to have to help clear the dishes, handy that! We stayed through the cake and to sing happy birthday and then we left on his next adventure – to visit T and her new baby in the hospital.

Before I begin I think that my lesson for today is that one outing a day is more than enough. He screamed again when put into his car seat and took quite some time to settle. His little arms were thrashing about wildly and he was screaming blue murder. He fell asleep soon before we got to the hospital and we thought we would just run in, say a quick hello and welcome to the world and get going again so that he could be home for his 6pm feed.

We went upstairs and three minutes into the visit he began to cry. I picked him up and he tried to eat my shirt. I was really quite uncomfortable with the idea of feeding him in front of all T’s guests so got one of the midwives to find me a quiet room to feed in. He fed well for about 15 minutes and I thought that I could fool him into going to sleep and getting a top up when we got home. I was wrong. We went back to T’s room and he began to cry, we put him in the car seat and he began to scream. We decided to leave. M rocked him and he began to settle and then he got into the car. As we drove E screamed so loudly and for so long that his voice sounded hoarse, he began to whimper from screaming. I felt so terrible and so helpless, here I was sitting right next to him and I could not hold him in my arms and settle him, how was he meant to understand what was happening. Eventually we decided to stop at the side of the road. I picked him up out of the seat and saw the reason for his hysteria. The poor angel was in pain, the seat belt must have been resting under his eye as there was a big mark on his face. I feel so terrible that the child was crying in pain and we took so long to respond. Now I really believe all that I have read that says that babies do not cry for no reason. When they cry that is their way of communicating something to us. He settled after a bit of a hug and we reseated him more comfortably. He slept the rest of the journey. Poor M had been feeling quite ill and had a really bad headache, the crying and the stress of the journey did nothing to help and as we got home M vomited. Next time – just the one outing for us.

We Hit 2Kgs

En had a good night and was quite settled this morning. I woke up thinking that he was ready to get up at about 8am, I was ready to take him for a nice relaxing walk in the pram to the shops but by the time I got my shit together he was asleep again. I went without him and when I came back he was very relaxed indeed lying next to his dad on the bed.

Grandpa R came for breakfast and E was really in a good mood, very relaxed and alert and not at all interested in going to sleep after his mid-morning snack. I think that the morning is definitely his time. He lay on the couch for quite a while just looking around and being very content.

I received a phone call this morning from the hospital saying that there was some frozen breast milk of mine that I could come and collect. I jumped at the opportunity to go back so that maybe we could sneak in a quick weigh of E. We went to the hospital, chatted with some of the mums and calmly suggested to Jo (the nurse in charge) that we were worried as we did not know if E was putting on weight. She told us to indulge our neuroses and weigh him. He was sleeping and we were loathe to wake him but I picked him up out of his cot and as luck would have it (I prefer to call it luck rather than forceful manipulation) his nappy came off (we were told to weigh him with his clothes on so as not to fuss him too much). We weighed him with just his spencer and he weighed 2.060kg. We have finally hit the magic 2kg mark!!!. M weighed a spencer and it weighed 30g so we are confident that E weighs about 2.030kg. And No! We are not at all obsessed with every single gram.

This afternoon he had his uncle D come round to visit him. D was amazed by the fact that all E does is sleep. I guess he should spend a night here. C also came by but E slept through that as well. By the time everybody lefty E woke up and I was exhausted. I went to feed him and then handed him over to M while I had a quick sleep. I did not manage to sleep very long but M took E out for a walk and they had a great time and E came back fast asleep.

He woke up an hour before his next feed was due and M rocked him on his lap for about an hour. E loves the rocking chair!!! During this time we were reading in the “Baby Bible” about smiling and we are both convinced that E has definitely given some communicative smiles. It is sometimes so frustrating to have to age correct for him. We know that he has been alive for a full 9 weeks already but he is still only due next week so in essence is not born or at best a new born. This is something that is going to take a long time to get used to but I am sure that just as we get used to it so it will matter less and less as E grows up and his developmental milestones become less important. For now he is beautiful, he is putting on weight and is healthy and magnificent. His milestones will come. We will not compare him to other babies but will always appreciate his uniqueness and revel in the fact that he has completed such a long journey and has done so well. I still cry when I look at the photos of him as a newborn in Level 3 but I know that that is behind us and I am so grateful that he is such a fighter and that he has done so well. I cannot begin to express my love for him and my awe for his strength and perseverance.

M fed E his 7pm feed from a bottle and he slurped it down amazingly. He really seems to handle that bottle so easily I wonder if he does not prefer it to the breast. J arrived as he was preparing for sleep and we sat in his room chatting with E on my chest on the rocking chair. He loves that and was soon sound asleep.

Whatever It Takes

It seems that E fed every two hours last night. I was absolutely exhausted this morning and after M settled him at 5am and he woke up at about 6am and was still awake at 7am I eventually put him over my stomach and so we slept. I woke up at about 9am with him swaddled over my tummy. He was very nasal and having a real hard time eating. As soon as his mouth was full he could not breathe because his nose was blocked. This understandably made him very irate. I never thought that I could do such a thing but in the face of a crying baby I put my mouth over his nose and sucked out the blockage. YUGH!!! At least it made him feel better and he was able to feed really well.

The late start to the morning did not suit my boy and he was rather unsettled and certainly did not follow yesterday’s routine of settling in his cot so we tried him in the hug-a-bub and he was really happy and well settled in that (not to mention particularly cute).

R and D came to visit him and he slept in the hug-a-bub throughout the visit. Granny C also came by and he was really good – he just slept. I am sure that they think we are making a mountain out of a mole-hill when we tell them how much he can cry when he is hungry or tired.

He woke up on cue as C left and had a good lunch. We then put him in his pram and walked up to Randwick. He LOVES the pram and loves being walked. He did not stir at all and really seemed to be smiling as we set off. We walked up to the park, bought a take-away and had our first family picnic in the park. Chicken Yakitori and Sushi are not the most conventional picnic foods but we enjoyed it all the same.

I am trying to keep E awake for a little longer during the day so that he sleeps at night and so today after the 3pm feed we lay on the pillow and sang songs about chocolate. It is amazing how he likes being sung to and it is amazing the amount of crap that I come up with to sing about. I am constantly talking or singing to him during his daytime feeds. This makes him quite relaxed and I think it is great bonding time. M also sings to him and although I have to cover my ears E loves it. We all tried to have a sleep this afternoon but after an hour E had other ideas and so had another early feed. I read that babies of this age do not know or necessarily need routine and I am certainly glad about that.

Tonight E slept past his normal three hourly feed so after four hours I woke him up and we faced his wrath. I can safely say that he was in a foul mood. He screamed – not like the normal crying scream but he yelled as if he was furious. I tried to feed him but he was too tired and angry to eat. Eventually M ran a bath and E and I had a calm relaxing bath – until we took him out and tried to dress him. I cannot believe how angry he seems to be, maybe he is just too tired to know how to deal with anything. I fed him after M dressed him and eventually he fell asleep. We vowed to him that we would not wake him for any reason ever again. I wonder how long it will last till I decide that he is sleeping too much and needs to be woken to eat again.

Grandpa Arrives

Well he is like a different boy this morning. After each feed I have put him in the cot with either his lullaby music or his wave sounds and he has settled immediately and slept right through to the next feed. He looks so angelic and rested. I hope that he is not just trying to conserve all his energy for the night.

We went for our very first drive today accompanied by aunt C. E loved his capsule and was delighted to drive all the way to the Airport Hotel to have his first meeting with grandpa W. Needless to day Grandpa loved him to pieces and got quite teary. E slept through.

Grandpa and C came to us for dinner but En had ideas other than socialising so half way through dinner I went to feed him and try and put him to bed. This was only two hours after his last feed but if it makes him happy I am more than prepared to do it. Grandpa and C left amidst the screaming.

The night turned out to be a little more hectic than the day had been with E becoming quite upset and wanting to eat every hour or so. He is really a good boy though and does not cry for ages although at 3am it seems like a long time. He can certainly scream though and has this habit of almost throwing his head back and opening his mouth at full capacity, his bottom lip quivers and his face contorts – not his prettiest look. The twin style feeding has been replaced by the “whatever makes E happy” style feeding.

The Weight Worry Begins....

A real lazy day today. It was freezing cold and windy outside so we decided to spend the day in, mind you by the time we got up and about half the day was gone. E and I lay dozing on the couch half watching the midday movie whilst M went to gather more essentials. We are realising all the things that we cannot do without now that he is home.

At about 5pm I woke E for a feed and that was the end of that. He did not take kindly to being woken and would not feed properly. M and I also started to become obsessed with his tiny size and got ourselves in a terrible state of worry that he is not eating enough. Out came the trusty books and in we lurched looking for signs and signals that ours was a well fed baby. We even toyed with the idea of taking him to the hospital to weigh him and if I had my way and a lot of money I would buy some hospital type scales for him to sleep on. Not half paranoid. Basically E cried every time we put him in his cot. We bathed him and as usual he loved that but then we had to take him out. We read that you cannot overfeed breastfed babies and so we kept putting him to the breast. Still he cried. We sang to him, patted him and many long hours later (at about 11pm) he fell asleep in M’s arms watching the footy show.

I guess that he was so tired that the whole night he was a gem, he woke up at 1;15 and 5:20 for his feeds almost back to his old hospital routine. I put him in his cot straight after his feed with a sound maker playing the sound of the ocean and he slept right through with no fuss. We had spent so much time before (in the last few days) trying to burp him and then we read that it is not necessary it is just one of those myths that babies need to burp (plus it is a satisfying sound for the parents). So instead of putting him over my shoulder and winding him after every meal I simply put him in the cot and for now it seems to work. He still gets furious with his nappy changes but is much calmer through the feed, unless he has trouble latching in which case he stiffens his head and pulls back and I am amazed at his strength and flummoxed as to what I have to do to bring him closer to me.

We are still counting wet nappies and looking for the signs that he is putting on weight but I have decided to change my breast feeding style and feed him “twin style” all the time and it seems to make him happy so….

First Day at Home

I was ready for my first full day with my son forever grateful that M had taken the week off work. We took E for his first ever real walk in the pram at about lunch time. It was great to take him out and he loves the pram. We walked up to the park and sat there for a while. I am still a little neurotic about the fumes from the cars etc but I did my best not to show it and just let him enjoy the outside air. It was quite a hot day and as we are not used to varying temperatures I think we overheated him a bit so we did a bit of a strip down of the blankets when we got home and I am sure he did not notice the difference.

In the afternoon we had to take him to the GP for the last of his 2 month immunisations – his polio drops. These are a live vaccine so they cannot be given in the hospital. I had been a bit nervous about these as I had heard that they were very bitter but no fear E loved them and gulped them down with relish. Dr T told me that he adds syrup to the drops. What a doctor! This was Ethan’s first public showing outside of NCC and the reaction was as expected. No one could believe how small he is. When Dr T looked at him his first words were ”Sies Tog” (a South African expression for... well for sies tog, kind of like nothing I can translate but basically the doctor thought he was tiny) and the ladies in the waiting room were positively stunned at his small size. He is very special!! My first experience out showed me that I was a bit disorganised, I had forgotten to bring along all his medical records, blue book etc – I guess I just have to get used to being a mom.

I do not remember the night too well so it could not have been to bad but I am sure that M will differ with me on that. I do however know for certain that relaxing music (most specifically “Music for Dreaming”) calms E (and M and I) well and it is constantly playing in our room (his room for the moment). Our other favourite trump is the bath. We gave him a bath and then had a hard time waking him for food. Next time it will have to be food and then a bath.