Another week of feeding

Friday 10 August 2001My mood continues to be good and I am really having a good time. My new favourite thing is when mum or dad hold me in the air and I behave like an aeroplane. It is always a good way to make me smile my biggest smile.

Saturday 11 August 2001 What a busy day. This morning, after a horrific night last night when I woke up every two hours, we went to Fox Studios to meet John P for a coffee. Mummy wanted to show me off to John because he used to work with her in the olden days. 

After coffee we went to watch the rugby at my cousins and that was really cool – I can get into this whole male macho thing of sport but give me a bit of time. Today I preferred to watch just a tiny bit of rugby with the boys and then I went with the girls to get lunch and that was equally good.

After another walk to the beach and a very busy day (I hardly slept at all) we came home and mum and dad gave me some rice cereal with my new spoon. I am not sure if it is the new spoon but I was way better at taking my food. In fact I actually chomped on it. Mum is thrilled to bits because Dr C had mentioned to her that my taking solids was a sure way out of my skinny predicament and mum had stopped trying to give it to me because I was acting so disinterested. Now she thinks I am interested I am sure she will be shtupping me constantly. Between that, her attempts at bottle feeding, the polyjoule and the continued breastmilk I should be a Michelin man in no time at all.

Sunday 12 August 2001 Another busy day!. This morning after one of my usual nights mummy and daddy took me to a toy sale where we spent surprisingly little money – maybe I should sleep better at night then they may be brighter in the mornings.

My parents are still trying to ply me with food with very little success. Give me time I say!

Monday 13 August 2001 I had a bit of a grumpy day today – it all has to do with my not wanting to sleep too much during the day (not to mention at night). Every time that I tried to sleep mum would wake me up to put me in the car or take me out the car or put me in the pram or take me out the pram. Mind you whenever we were in company I was perfectly charming and heaps of people stopped mum in the shopping centre to say how beautiful I am (and I always smile for those people).Eventually I made her take a long drive while I slept in the car but she stopped too soon and I was furious with her. Then to add insult to injury she tried to make me take a nap in my cot. We both ended up crying.

Mummy is a little terrified of my temper – daddy says that I inherited that from mummy. He also says that I got her impatience and stubbornness. All that wrapped up in a package that looks exactly like my daddy.

Tuesday 14 August 2001 I weigh 4.50kgs

What a day! Today after our long walk and my very short nap we went to playgroup at the NCC. Mummy asked if she could weigh me on their accurate digital scales and lo and behold I have put on a fortune of weight. Mummy is ecstatic and so is daddy and I am not fussed.

Mummy also found the secret to successful eating today (for me not for her – that she found out a long time ago). When she feeds me she puts the spoon right into my mouth instead of just the tip of the spoon into the front of my mouth and gee whiz what a difference it makes – finally something that I can really get my teeth into.

A lovely day all in all – I showed off again at the playgroup and chatted and rolled and displayed my very cutest and best behaviour as always.

I will not take a bottle however my mother may take to the bottle

Wednesday 8 August 2001

Good sleep really pays off.   I was in such a good mood today and I had oodles of fun.  I am smiling and grinning all the time now and mum says that I can charm the hind legs off a donkey.

What did I say about sleep?

My sleep has returned to its terrible state and tonight was especially bad because mummy was very anxious.  Dr T had phoned her to say that my poo sample was full of excess fats and sugars.  Now I am sure that there is nothing terribly wrong but mum is a wreck.  Thank Goodness we have an appointment to see him tomorrow morning because dad is taking me to have my immunisations.

Thursday 9 August 2001

What a terribly traumatic day!  We went to Dr T this morning as we had planned.  I was in a really good mood and laughing out loud in the waiting room as we sat for an hour and a half and waited for my appointment.  When we eventually went in Dr T explained that the tests had come back with some very strange results for a little baby of my age.  He phoned my paediatrician to discuss the results and then said to my mum that I had to start drinking from a bottle immediately as I was getting too much lactose through the breast milk.  He explained that the lactose was irritating my tummy (that is why I do so many explosive poos all the time) and as the food passes through my system so quickly I do not absorb the fat and all the nutrients.  This explained the reason for my continuing problems with weight gain at long last.  Dr T was very melodramatic and said that if I don’t stop drinking lactose I will get malnutrition.  Mummy tried to argue on my side and she told Dr T that there was no way I would take a bottle.  He said I had to!  He even said that he would not give me my immunisations as ceasing breastfeeding and having immunisations on the same day would be way to stressful.

Well my poor mummy fell apart.  She said that she felt that someone had ripped me out of her arms.  She did not want to stop breastfeeding me just like that and I was not going to let her.  When we got home and I woke up, dad tried to give me a bottle, he had stayed home from work for the day just to help mum get me to take a bottle.  I screamed and screamed like I have never screamed before.  I did not want the bottle but I was very hungry.  Mum and dad fell to pieces and resorted to breastfeeding me to quieten me.  Things were not happy in my house. 

Then Dr C phoned.  When mummy got off the phone from Dr C it was like somebody had turned a light on in her head, she was beaming so brightly!  Dr C had told mummy that I could carry on breastfeeding but I was to try and take a bottle.  He explained that I was not lactose intolerant but rather had a lactose overload.  If I stayed off lactose for a week my whole tummy would recover and I would be fine.  If however I continued to drink breastmilk I would remain thin but I would not get malnutrition and I would not do any harm to my body.  Mum and Dr C agreed that it could wait till next Wednesday when we go to the feeding clinic and when they try to teach me to take a bottle.  What a relief.

Mummy and I went to the chemist to get polyjoule.  The dietician had told mummy on the phone that I was to take this polyjoule stuff at every feed.  The polyjoule is pure carbohydrate so I should start to put on some weight real soon.  The liquid is syringed into my mouth and it is not too bad although very sticky.  I started today so let us see how it goes.

I had a great rest of the day.  Mum was celebrating me all over again and I just basked in the glory.  I smiled and smiled – I was happy to have my breast back (even though I never really lost it.)

Why can't I put on weight?

Wednesday 1 August 2001 
I am in a shocking mood today. I have had to help mummy with some new car bizzo for my aunt and I have not slept a wink all morning. I had playgroup this afternoon but I was such a grouch that we had to leave early. Mummy says that I am not myself.

Mummy bought a book on teaching me to sleep and now she thinks that she can rest easy but I know better. I like to sleep in her arms and no book is going to change my mind.

Thursday 2 August 2001 I weigh 4.13 kgs

My bad mood persists even though I slept a tiny bit better last night, I have worked out that if I don’t sleep properly during the day I really do not feel very good. Today I just feel very bad and I cry every time I am not in mum’s arms. Come to think of it I am crying even when I am in her arms. 

I think I can sense that mum is a bit edgy because today is weigh day at Dr C.

Well, I am still the skinny baby that I have always been. Granted I have hit the 4kilo mark but I am still very thin and not putting on weight fast. Dr C has suggested that we go and see a paediatric dietician and a speech therapist of all things. The dietician will give me a high calorie diet once I start to take solids and a speech therapist might be able to teach me to take a bottle.

Mummy asked Dr C about my constant waking at night and he said at my weight I should just eat whenever I am hungry and there is very little that we can do about her having to be up all night if I wont take a bottle. Mmmm maybe I will but only when I am ready.

I had a terrible evening. I screamed a lot and I sobbed and cried real tears. Mummy was also crying.  A LOT


Friday 3 August 2001

Today mummy panicked about me again. She thought that I was developing a rash so she shlepped me off to her GP. He said that it was a heat rash and that maybe I should just wear less layers. Mummy tends to stack on the layers because I have no body fat. Dr T asked about my general well being and suggested to mummy that it may be a good idea to check whether I have any absorption problems as I eat so much and don’t put on any weight. Mummy jumped at that idea and now she has to take in a sample of one of my poos for them to check for fat absorption. How utterly humiliating.

Friday night dinner at my house again and I slept through it. Gee it is strange how I sleep through those parts and then am awake the whole night when there are no visitors around.

Saturday 4 August 2001

Mummy and daddy have rings under their eyes. In fact they even have bags under their eyes all because I can’t sleep at night – I am just too hungry.

It is no use sitting around the house and moping about the tiredness so we all went off to Centennial Park this morning for breakfast and a walk. I was still in a bit of a bad mood and screamed a lot  in the car but eventually I fell asleep. After our walk we went for a long drive and I slept the whole way. Unfortunately the way back was a different story but then again you can’t expect to keep me in the car all day. When we got home mum dragged my chair outside and tried to make me sit outside for a while – she thought that the fresh air might help me sleep tonight – ha ha ha.

Another very long night tonight. Mum and dad tried to put me in their bed so that mum would not keep having to get up but I was not sure what I was meant to do in their bed. I get the eating part but I was just not crazy about the sleeping part, in fact I find it far more comfortable to sleep in my cot, albeit for short periods of time.

Sunday 5 August 2001

I went on a real outing today.  Mummy and daddy took me in the car for a drive to Darling Harbour and I had a long sleep in the car. When we got there they transferred me ever so gently to my pram so I could continue my sleep. When I woke up I found my cousins and aunts and uncle!  Cool find!  

I sat in my pram facing forwards and sitting up like a real big person. It was a huge step for mummy to take to face me outwards because I know that she likes to watch me all the time that she pushes me. I felt so much better after a long sleep and I really enjoyed my outing.

My parents went to bed sooo early tonight. They are exhausted, I don’t think that they can keep up with me. They tried to put me in their bed again but I did not want to sleep there. It was another one of those feed every two hours nights!!

Monday 6 August 2001

We went for an early morning walk today – mum is insisting that I sleep during the day and I am insisting that I will not sleep in my cot. We walked around Centennial Park and I did not sleep at all, I saved that for the shopping trip after the park – I have got to the stage where I can keep mum out all day just because she wants me to sleep.

This afternoon I sat outside while mum taught me to weed the garden and sweep. It was cool. Then sleep time again and so another walk. I am not that fussed on all these sleeps so I have taken to power napping – I sleep for a few minutes and then wham I am at it again.

My new thing is that I can really scream. I think that I have discovered my temper and boy can I use it. When I do not get my own way instantly (because I invariably get it at some stage) I scream so much that my voice goes hoarse – nice trick. My mum HATES it.

Tuesday 7 August 2001

Today we went to the Growth and Development Clinic and I impressed the socks off them!!. I had been in a particularly bad mood in the morning and mum was a bit worried that I would not show off all my skills but boy did I turn on the charm. I was only meant to have my first assessment at 4 months corrected but I went today at 3 months and 17 days corrected and I did all the things that a 4 month old would do. I smiled, I chatted, I grabbed a toy, I rolled from my tummy to my back and I chatted and chatted and chatted. I heard the developmental paediatrician saying “there is no problem with his brain” and over and over again they kept saying that my development was brilliant. Mum was blushing with pride and when she told daddy over the phone he smiled so much the phone lines almost lit up.

There was one point however which everyone keeps nagging me about – the stupid bottle. The doctor at the clinic did say that I was very underweight. She was a bit concerned until she tracked my growth on a special chart that they use for premature babies and then she said that although it is low the upward trend is consistent. The only time that my weight really did a downward turn and veered right off the charts was when I was still in hospital. She did say however that it is very hard for mummy to have to feed me every two hours and as I need to eat that often for the moment I must learn to take a bottle. We will see about that. She also suggested to mummy that I may have a lactose intolerance and that is why I make such explosive poos so often. I am going to have a test to see whether that is true or not.

All in all mummy and daddy were very happy. Mum has also decided to put me back on the Zantac as she had stopped it about a week ago and I have been very crabby so I am back on it and for the first night in ages I slept really well – 6-11, 11:30 – 3:00, 3:30 - 5:00 and then 5:45 – 6:45. It was a BRILLIANT night.

Hard to recall what you do when you get NO sleep

Monday 23 July 2001
I have stopped sleeping properly during the day so I take 15 minute catnaps occasionally and am a ratty baby at times. Hopefully this is just a fad I am experiencing.

Today I went with mum to gym again, she still does not get that I am not enjoying it at all. Anyway we compromise and she does half the class and cuddles me the other half – win win if you ask me.

In the afternoon we went to cheer my cousin on after her first day at school. I stayed out till dark again – not too late it is just this silly winter season that makes it so dark so early – maybe I will sleep a lot tonight.  Mum is holding her thumbs so hard they are turning purple.

Tuesday 24 July 2001

I tasted pears today and let me just say that I am not too fussed about them at all.  In fact I am not as into this solid food as I thought I might be to start but we will continue to persevere.

I am definitely getting over my 5’o clock aversion and am a much happier baby at about that time although my parents still keep insisting on putting me to bed early.  I am now waking at about 9pm every night where I used to wake at 11pm.  This is just to show them that I can go longer without sleep but they still do not believe me.  I am still not sleeping well at night and mummy is going a bit stir crazy!

Wednesday 25 July 2001
If you ever need to make my dad smile just smile and talk to him early in the morning – it works for me. Every morning I have taken to chatting to my parents in their room when I go in in the morning and they just love it.  Dad laughs hysterically and then they cover me with kisses.  Quite a good morning routine.  

This morning for my morning sleep mummy put me in my cot wide awake and I fall asleep all on my own.  Mum was very impressed!

I was very unsettled tonight.  I had a real hard time falling and staying asleep.  I think it is those pears mom is making me eat. 

Thursday 26 July 2001
Today I found my voice in all its glory. I have been jabbering away all day very cutely. Mum is having lots of fun listening to me and as usual dad is just besotted.  

Today I had my horrible capsule returned and can now sit in the car in comfort.  At long last my parents have had the good sense to have my own car seat fitted and I am very grateful.  I still screamed in the car today but mummy said that she could see that I was a lot more comfortable.  

I am in a very good mood today – maybe it is because mom has not given me any pears today.  I heard her say that tomorrow she is going to give me apple.  Maybe that will be better.

This afternoon mum put me down in my cot awake again and I put myself to sleep and then the most amazing thing happened.  Mummy went upstairs to “spellcheck” my diary and I woke up after 15 minutes of sleep and mum had the gall to ignore me.  Granted I was not screaming but I was whinging.  Anyway she left me for about 2 whole minutes and I got so pissed off I went straight back to sleep.  For some reason mum is overjoyed with me she thinks it is some kind of great skill to put yourself to sleep.

Friday 27 July 2001

This afternoon we went to visit Karen in the pouring rain (I heard mum saying something about cabin fever and staying indoors).  On the way home mum was so busy listening to me shriek in the car that she reversed out of the driveway into the car behind her. I was unphased because I never felt a thing but I carried on screaming nonetheless.


I am having great fun eating my hands and making huge amounts ofsaliva. Mum keeps thinking I am hungry but I urged her to read all her books and see that it is just a developmental thing. I am progressing along just as I should and that involves a lot of fist sucking. She did try and feed me apple but I am really just playing with the food – I am not 100% sure of what she wants me to do with it although I admire all her attempts to put it into my mouth.

Saturday 28 July 2001

The weather is abysmal so today we just stayed at home indoors.  We played a lot and mum and dad tried to space my feeds strictly and get me to have short naps all in the hope that I would sleep well tonight.  They just do not understand that I do not want to sleep at night (unless I am in mummy’s arms).  We had a good day all in all but as I predicted the trick did not work and I am still “the world’s worst sleeper”.

Mummy had a little panic today because I have a blood blister on my right hand.  She was so nervous and scared that it meant something bad was wrong with me that my uncle had to do a house call.  He said that it was indeed a blood blister but it was nothing to worry about.  I must have got my hand caught in something without realising it.  It sure is good to have a doctor in the family.

Sunday 29 July 2001

Tonight was another horrific night where I woke up every hour or so.  I tell you I think I can see mum ageing as I type.

Monday 30 July 2001

Today mum and I spent the day with my cousins.  We walked down to the beach and it was a lovely day.  I looked at the sea and I lay on a mat on the grass and took the fresh air in.  We had fun except for every time that mummy put me in the car I screamed blue murder – I think I have put my cousin off playing with me.  I am sure that he never thought such a small baby could scream so loud.  As predicted I did sleep most of the day and as I type this entry I am just revving up for tonight!!!!

Tuesday 31 July 2001

I have quite forgotten what we did today so I assume that it was nothing relevant.  Just as cute and wonderful as ever.  Funny all I can hear ringing in my ears is my mother's voice saying "There is no harm in a child crying; the harm is done if his cries are not answered"

Rice Cereal - Surely there has to be something tastier than rice cereal

Monday 16 July 2001
Mummy is still trying to force me to take a bottle and I am still refusing. Added to which I am being abysmal at nights. Mummy thought all these problems warranted a trip to the clinic sister so off we went. As I predicted it was no use, the clinic sister said that mummy cannot force me to take a bottle she can just offer it to me and if I take it well and good but if I don’t then I don’t! She also said that she knows no tricks for getting me to sleep longer so mum must just continue to get up all night. I saw mummy’s face go pale at the thought but she put up a brave front.

Tuesday 17 July 2001
What a great day. I spent all day “babysitting” my cousins. They came over to my house in the morning and we watched mummy and daddy’s wedding video and looked at photos of when my cousins were babies. Actually I slept through all these activities but if I were awake I would have joined in. After the video, when I woke up, we went out and I slept again. I could hear mum secretly wishing that this sleeping behaviour would carry through to the night time.

When we got home N came with us and her and mum did a concert for me. It was very groovy but it may account for the fact that I did not sleep at all well during the night. Every hour I woke grumbling and complaining (they do not hold a tune very well).

Wednesday 18 July 2001
I tasted food off a spoon today!!! Mummy has decided that I am very hungry. I am feeding off her furiously and she is worried that I am still hungry so today she got it into her head that I needed to start solids. We bought rice cereal and a brand new spoon and everything and while I would not say that I ate a spoonful or anywhere close to it, a millilitre or so of rice cereal happened into my mouth and I may or may not have swallowed it.

Daddy was a bit concerned that we had not okayed this introduction of solids with Dr C so I think that it has come to a crashing halt until we check with him but I think I kind of like the idea of eating real food.

Thursday 19 July 2001
I took the teeniest, tiniest sip from my bottle today. I don’t think it is as big a deal as mummy would have you think but there you are! It is not like I am thinking of doing it again in a hurry.

Friday 20 July 2001
Fridays are days that we usually spend shopping and preparing dinner but today mummy took a few shortcuts and instead of all that boring shopping and cooking we got to play with Rene and even to go to Karen’s house to wish her happy birthday! We still got dinner together and again my whole family ate a lovely Shabbas dinner while I slept soundly in my cot.

I heard mummy say that she is feeling a bit haggard because all I want to do is eat. She is really difficult – first she complains that I don’t eat and then she complains that I eat too much! Because she was so frustrated about my hunger I got to eat off a spoon again. I am really much better with that than with the bottle and daddy has now agreed that it is okay because my uncle says that it is okay (and he is a doctor). Just wait till we tell Dr C! Anyway I am quite good at this spoon thing although I am really not swallowing much more than a millilitre or so. I know that all the books say that it is a myth but I am also sleeping a bit better since mummy has been feeding me solids so now I wake up after 4 hours at night until 3am and then I still wake up every hour.

Saturday 21 July 2001
I escaped the Saturdays today (well almost all day). I was in a much better mood than I generally am on a Saturday and I impressed my dad so much he could not stop raving about me.

We went shopping and when I was not sleeping in my pram I sat upright in it like a real little boy. This was the first time that mum had been game enough to seat me like this and I had such fun. I could watch the whole world go by and I loved it.

After shopping we went to friends for tea, I think that my parents were kidding making me have such a long day. The drive to the friends was fraught with tears and screaming but that was nothing compared to the drive home from them. After a very nice tea and a long snooze in mum’s arms we drove home from North Bondi and I screamed the entire way home. I screamed so much that I vomited and even as I write this I have ringing in my ears from the noise that I made!!! I don’t think my parents will be game to keep me out the whole day ever again – well at least not until I’m 18.

I ate my rice cereal very well which ensured that I had a reasonable sleep and so I think my parents will continue to feed me solids. Yummmm.

Sunday 22 July 2001
Daddy had to go to a conference today so mum and I spent the day together again. The weather was rainy and miserable and so after one short trip to the shops we stayed indoors near the heater. Granny came for lunch and I tried to show her how I eat my solids but I was really not feeling that hungry for them.

In the night, after my bath, granny phoned to tell us some terrible news. Her mother, my great grandmother had died. Mummy wrapped me up very warmly and I had my first real night time outing. We went to granny’s house to try and comfort her and make her feel better. She was very sad but I do think that I managed to perk her up a tiny bit. I slept in mum’s arms after my attempt at cheering her up and we went home about an hour later. Even though I went to bed so much later I still woke up at exactly the same times in the night. Uncanny really how I can’t get to sleep through the night.

Technically 5 months but 3 months corrected and I weigh 3.720kg

Tuesday 10 July 2001

Big day out again. After very little sleep mum organised me to go off to Dr C. I am getting so used to this drill I think I might start going by myself and leaving neurotic mum at home. Dr C is very happy with my weight although mummy was a bit disappointed. He also said that I am looking just like a 3 month old baby (not weight-wise of course but in actions) and that is just brilliant. I must admit that I did show off for him a bit. I gurgled and played with my hands and showed him how I have mastered fist sucking. I even smiled at him when he was examining me. He says that we only need to go back and see him in 4 weeks time but mummy said that she would be happier with 3. I tell you she doesn’t give me much time to put on weight.

After Dr C we went to playgroup at the NCC and mommy did a total freak out. I am still the smallest baby there and even tiny Jacob, who is younger than me I might add, is heavier than me. Mummy is becoming a little worried but the physiotherapist and Dr C both stressed that I am doing really well.

Wednesday 13 July 2001

Mummy’s neurosis led me to the doctor again today. This time I went to a GP that mummy loves. She was really nice, she told mummy that I am healthy and gorgeous and I will put on weight eventually. Mummy had decided that we better get a second opinion because she was so worried that there might be something wrong with me because I weigh so little. The doctor said that my eyes were sparkling, my skin colour was good and that I am bright and alert and if there was something wrong then all that would not be so. Also my uncle S who is a doctor told mummy the same thing and he pointed out that my height and my head circumference were both in the normal range for my age and it was just my weight that was lacking.

The GP suggested that I try some formula in a bottle to try and stack on the weight. We will see about that one.

I went to play at Cade’s house today and I was charming and delightful!! Full of smiles and just the cutest boy around.

Thursday 12 July 2001

Mum keeps trying to give me formula in a bottle. Can’t someone tell her that I don’t want a bottle. I just don’t know what to do with it once it is in my mouth and then that milk comes out and dribbles down my chin and I am at a loss as to how this is meant to fatten me up.

Today we went out for lunch with my cousins and their parents. I slept through it and awoke at the end screaming terribly. Mummy raced me off home at the speed of light!!!

Friday 13 July 2001

Today I really made my parents proud. I am now able to swipe at my toys deliberately every time – yet another developmental milestone under my belt. I also slept in my pram when we went for a walk and I was not even wrapped – I am really getting control over my arms.

I had a great day today, for some reason I was in a really good mood and I just enjoyed my day. I sat in my rocker in the kitchen and I helped mum unpack groceries and cook dinner. Then when mum went to the dermatologist my aunt and cousin babysat me and although I was fast asleep I could sense that they were looking after me and that was very cool.

Today my granny in South Africa sent mummy an email and she said that she was a very tiny little girl when she was younger and her mummy was also anxious but my mummy told me that now granny is just a perfect size also my other aunt told mummy that the biggest person we know only started to get big when he was 14 so there is plenty of time for me.

Saturday 14 July 2001

I seem to have a bad case of the “Saturdays” which is very similar to the 5 o’clocks only it lasts the whole day. I had a very unsettled and unhappy day. I did not sleep properly all day and was just not at one with myself.

Mum and dad tried all sorts of interesting activities with me but it only made me more tired. We met Jake and his parents at Fox Studios for lunch and we ambled about the market but I insisted that we go home before we had too much fun. I know mum and dad get frustrated with these days but I like to keep them on their toes.

Sunday 15 July 2001

I am sure that anyone would agree that my terrible behaviour yesterday was well worth the reward today. This morning I was playing with mum and dad on their bed and mum was giving me kisses on my tummy and I started to laugh. Now ordinarily I smile a lot and I make gorgeous cooing baby noises but today I actually laughed out loud for the very first time. Mum and dad were so pleased and so happy that they laughed and laughed and laughed and mum had to stop kissing my tummy because she was laughing so much.

The parents then ruined the whole day by making me go on a picnic in bad, windy weather. I was excited at the prospect of seeing my aunts and cousins and sharing some time together but why they had to take me out in the cold I don’t know. Mum had bragged about my laugh to her sisters and she was eager to show them how it sounded but instead I screamed and shouted and mum and dad had a terrible time and could not even sit down and eat their lovely picnic lunch. In fact I shouted so much that after half an hour mum got the message (a bit slow) and her and dad took me home where I was instantly happy – it was not at all cold or windy inside our house.

I think I will wake up every hour tonight just to make sue that they remember I am boss. Little outings like this make me think their memories are slipping! 

The week I found my fingers

Tuesday 3 July 2001

Today I discovered my fists and what fun they are to suck.  Mmmmm.  My day was mainly spent trying to get my fist into my mouth while dodging all food and wrappings that mum tried to give me.  I think I was quite successful although mum did get a bit edgy that I wouldn’t eat.

We went shopping with my cousins and aunt and I was in the Baby Bjorn and that was cool because I could just suck my hand and mom would not try and wrap me.  I was in no mood to sleep last night and I was just feeling a bit off colour with everything.  I think all this excitement of the cousins etc is getting to me, that and finding my fists – it is a lot for a small boy like myself to handle.

Wednesday 4 July 2001

Today I hosted playgroup at my house.  It was a small one really just two other kids and myself but we had fun and they all loved my toys.  (I mostly slept through it but I imagine that it was fun)

Mummy is a bit tired as I still insist on waking at 5am every day.  There is nothing better than being awake before the sun rises!

Thursday 5 July 2001

Mum and I went on a long walk to Coogee Beach this morning at about 7am.  It is all very well that mum goes on about how beautiful the beach is and how tranquil and calming the sea is, I am in my pram and I can’t see a thing from in there.  I can’t wait to be big enough to face forward and sit up in my pram then I will finally get what mum sees in all these long walks.

After the walk we went to the shops and then to playgroup at the hospital.  I heard mom tell dad that there were 22 other babies and their mums there but I cannot say for sure as I slept through the whole group!

In the afternoon another walk, this time my cousins took turns to push me and that made it a bit more special.

Friday 6 July 2001

Help! My mum has become an exercise freak.  Today she shlepped me off to her gym class, granted there were lots of babies there and we were included in the exercises but I really had not had much sleep this morning and I was tired and ratty and in no mood for exercise.  Apparently we will go back on Monday and maybe I will prefer it after a bit of sleep.

The rest of the day we had to prepare for dinner with all mummy and daddy’s family.  The sad thing was that my grandparents (mummy’s parents) are still in South Africa and no family gathering will be the full thing without them.  Nevertheless I still sleep through Friday nights so while mum says that it was a good night I just slept and woke up as the visitors were preparing to leave.

Saturday 7 July 2001

I was in a real bad mood today and there was no way that I could disguise that.  I was ratty and uncomfortable and the only place that I would sleep was in mum’s arms (not that I see any problem with that, funnily enough she does not always agree).  

I went to visit my twin friends  from the hospital. They are so much bigger than me I could hardly believe that they are the same age - - 2 weeks different and also born at 30 weeks.  The little boy is 7 kilos (double my weight) – I best start to eat a lot more. 

Sunday 8 July 2001

It is taking a while for my bad mood to dissipate so I was in a bit of a mood again today.  I am still waking up very early in the mornings (around 5am) so I guess that would account for some rattyness. 

After a morning spent trying to stay awake while my parents tried to get me to sleep we all went to Bondi and met my aunts there.  My timing is impeccable so I fell asleep on the way there and only woke up when mum was about to eat her lunch.  She fed me and then her and dad whisked me off home because it was very cold and I am still not so into experiencing the elements first hand.

Today I made my parents cry with pride.  I don’t know why really but they were playing with me and I smacked my toy with my hand and they thought that was so wonderful and so smart they both just stared at each other with tears in their eyes and laughed.  I tell you they are such softies – what are they going to do when I go to school?

I had a terrible night.  I could not get comfortable and I just wanted to suck my hands all night.  Mum wanted me wrapped so we had a bit of a war of attrition – I sucked my wrap and mum called dad to try and get me to sleep at 2am.  Mum said that if the sucking of my hands soothed me and I could sleep unwrapped she would be only to happy to do that but the sucking really actually revs me up and I do flail about without the wrap so I guess I will be wrapped for a while longer.

Monday 9 July 2001

Gym again and I still don’t like it.  Although this time I did sleep a bit more so mum got a chance to do a few exercises without me.

It was a rainy and miserable day so we did not get up to much.  I just laughed a lot and was as cute as a button.