Today E gave me a big proper smile and it made all the rest of the shit seem like nothing. Nothing at all. Suddenly everything is all worthwhile. He desperately needs to give a huge winning smile to M.
Tonight I went for a massage and I left E in a very grumbly mood with M. When I came back M was devastated, E had screamed continuously. His day had been pretty good although I am now petrified all the time that he is starving. I phoned the breastfeeding clinic and I am going to have a chat with them tomorrow before the clinic on Monday. Hopefully that will get us through the weekend.