I Want to Cuddle Him, Strict Nurse Wants Him to Sleep

I arrived at the hospital really early today and found E sitting in the rocker/bouncer as cute as a button and as happy as anything. The nurse told me that he had had a really bad night and was very unsettled in his cot. He is hungry and furiously trying to suck while I am not there. Yup - that sound you just heard was my heart breaking. By the time his 6am feeds rolled around however, he was fast asleep. The nurse has suggested we give him a bottle in the middle of the night to satisfy his sucking hysteria. Hopefully that will bring him closer to full sucking feeds. I did suggest that I come to the nursery in the middle of the night for the 12 and 3am feeds but I was told that was definitely not an option. He will instead go from 8 to 7 feeds and have 12am bottle and 5am tube to rest so that by 9am he is ready for a breastfeed.

This clever little man is just amazing. He had a full breastfeed with no top up. He fell asleep sort of but when we put him down he cried. The strict nurse tried to teach me to settle him without cuddling him and although it breaks my heart to hear him cry it will help us both in the long run (or so strict nurse says). I still talk to him and pat his back so he knows that I am there and I hope that is enough comfort for him but already I doubt that.

It turns out that E is the most spoilt baby in the nursery. He only likes to sleep in my or M’s arms. This afternoon and evening have been a real battle of should I hold him or should he cry and settle himself in the cot. It is breaking my heart that I cannot cuddle him all the time and I wish bloody strict nurse would go home and let me mother my son the way I want to. He is MY baby - not the hospital's. This is a hideous position to be in. The staff can't hold him when I am not there so they want him to settle in his cot. I want to be there all the time but apparently I have to go home to sleep or some such bullshit.

I think we may be trying to push him a bit with the breastfeeds as they take so much of his energy. While he had a brilliant feed in the morning the rest were a bit average. Perhaps tomorrow we will try every second feed.


  1. That is very very sad :( Strict Nurse when I was in hosp with PND made me do controlled crying with my son (LOATHED it - snuck him in to bed with me where he slept like an angel till 8 months, then moved to cot beside bed, very naturally) I can't imagine having someone else make decisions about my child when they are so little - it must have been hell - and to not allow you in for feeds is just not fair - who does it put out? - Retrospective empathy and Hugs

  2. Anonymous - my heart goes out to you too, and thank you for your empathy and hugs.

    I never did let him cry to sleep after we got home from the hospital EVER and he is now 8 and I still lie with him before he goes to sleep at night! And do I care? Not a jot. He is happy and well adjusted and all too soon grown up