My Love Letter

I am so proud of E. Our first night went so well. He slept from about 11:30pm (not great but he was very unsettled after his 9pm feed) till 1:30am. He then fed without to much fuss and was back in his cot asleep at 2:15am. He slept soundly till 5:20am, fed and now at 7:30am is fast asleep in our bed. This room is freezing and I am sure our bed is warmer than his.

Dr C came for his second last hospital visit. He has been fantastic to us – I am glad that he is E’s doctor. This afternoon we measured E’s head circumference 33.7cm and his height 44cm. He has “put on” 6cm around his head and grown 5cm taller since birth. He is still below 2kgs but we like to pretend that does not matter.

Everyone is getting a bit excited about his departure (well M and I are) and it is becoming so real that at last M, E and I will be a family.

He was as good as gold all day. He slept between feeds and M fed him a bottle of breastmilk at 12 noon when I went to the dentist. The night was a different story. The man was a monster. He screamed a lot. He hardly ate at 1am and then woke at 4:20. He screamed a lot during the 5am feed. Now that he is sleeping so soundly it is hard to imagine that he was so manic. It is very hard to know what he is crying about and to settle him accordingly. The end result was a tight hug in bed and he fell asleep next to me.

My Darling E

I am so incredibly proud of you, how you have managed such a difficult start in life with such bravery and determination. Your courage and fight to survive are an inspiration to all the people who know you.

I know that when we go home all of this traumatic experience will be behind us and we will have years and years of good times ahead of us.

I love you more than you could possible imagine and I intend to make your life as happy, as peaceful and as rich as I can.

I am so glad that you are my son. I feel truly blessed. You and your dad complete my life – you make me feel whole. Thank you for your struggle.

I love you


  1. awwwww!! such chills up my spine!!! leaves me in tears!!! thanku for sharing this with us!! and all in all, ur first night sounds like normal really? from what I hear from others of course! no persnal experience..

  2. wooops! typo! how embarrassing! *personal

  3. What a lovely letter to E. Happy to be reading about the imminent departure from the hospital.