Cuddle and Cuddle and Cuddle (let's not think about surgery)

Today I arrived at the hospital and I read in E's notes that they had discovered a hernia on his right side. It was explained to us by the nurse, and later Dr C, that it is quite common in premature boys but it may require surgery. It will be reviewed before he leaves hospital and if he requires surgery it will be performed at the same time as his circumcision. The thought of my baby in surgery sickens me. The circumcision is something that conflicts me totally. I know my child must be circumcised as is his Jewish rite but the thought of the pain apalls me. I am not thinking about it right now nor am I thinking about the need for surgery for the hernia. Instead I am going to think about cuddling him.

This morning we tried E on the breast again and I can safely say it was one of the most wonderful things that has ever happened to me when my little angel sucked. It feels so right to be looking after him like that – to be doing some real mothering. After I “fed” and held him M had a cuddle. We can’t wait to bring him home and cuddle him and cuddle him and cuddle him.


  1. Whilst neither of my children were born premature, we went through the agony of being told that our older son would need to have surgery for bilateral vesico-uretary (kidney) reflux, which he was provisonally diagnosed with at my 36wk ultrasound. We were told that without surgery, he would eventually need dialysis or a kidney transplant as repeated infections would continually scar his kidneys and eventually render them useless.

    I think I cried for a week!!!

    You must have been beside yourself with worry to have this complication thrown at you when everything was going so well.

    As I said before, I'm so glad I know the outcome to your story!

    Oh and my son didn't need surgery afterall, to the paediatric surgeon's amazement and our utter delight! He fell into the 2% of severe cases that "grow out of it". Something they forgot to mention at the time!!

  2. Wow -thank you for sharing that on my blog. So meaningful to me that people can relate and share their experiences. I am so thrilled that your son never needed the surgery - just dealing with the day to day business of being a mum is hard enough. He certainly sounds like a special boy - in the top 2% of special in my books!